The more I think about it, the less appealing the idea of grad school seems. Now that I’ve left the academic world, I find I have little desire to return. 4+ years to get a degree in a field in which I’m not sure I would be happy making my career… just doesn’t seem worth it. It is a really good opportunity – to have a Ph.D. completely paid for and then some – one that few people get. But, as mom pointed out, just because a good opportunity is there doesn’t mean I should take it. Grad school may not be the right path for me.
The only thing that makes me hesitant is the fact that grad school is the safe, secure path: my entire future would be well-taken-care-of. I’d be fine financially until I graduated and getting a job afterwards would pretty much be a certainty. Choosing not to go to UCSC though makes my post-Fulbright future a giant question mark. Then again I’d be no different from any other college graduate facing the challenge of finding a place to live, insurance, and a source of income – so what am I afraid of? I guess that in the back of my mind lingers the fear that things won’t work out, I’ll have lots of trouble, and regret not choosing the secure path where everything was basically guaranteed.
However – I’ve never been one to back down from a challenge, and I have a knack for making things work and for finding positive things about my situation no matter what it is. So I’ll just be patient, have an AWESOME time in Brasil this year, and see what opportunities arise…
