My Difficult Student was absent on the date the midterm test was administered. The following week, I had the corrected exams ready to hand back to the other students, so I had to ask him to leave the room while I did so.
Me: Okay, it’s time for our 15-minute break. I have your corrected tests here. DS, since you haven’t taken the test yet, can you please wait in the lobby?
DS: No problem! I won’t pishing!
Me: …what?
DS: I’m not pishing.
Me: I don’t understand. What is ‘pishing’?
DS: [Looking frantically at other students for help] You know, pishing?
Another student: You mean ‘fishing’?
DS: No! Pishing, pishing!!
Now… the only definition I know for “pishing” is as the Yiddish version of “pissing,” and I was pretty sure that’s not what DS was going for.
DS: P-H-I-S-H-I-N-G. Pishing!
Me: Oh, phishing. It’s spelled with P, but pronounced like F. It means to get secret information in a sneaky way, like when scammers try to get your credit card number.
DS: Yes! I will not phishing for information on the test.
Me: Haha, okay.
[Pause]
Me: I am going to hand out the tests, so DS, you need to wait in the lobby.
DS: Yes, I don’t phishing!
[Pause]
Another student: We are waiting for you to leave.
DS: Oh! Oh yes, of course! [finally leaves the room]
Hello, God? I’d like to order an extra helping of patience for my Saturday morning English class, please!
